My Unlikely Muse

 Since I don't have much to show on the actual finished manuscript front at the moment, I thought I'd share a little on my motivations and inspirations for the books to come. When I have characters and situations in my head, I don't have a lot to draw from on the "happily ever after" angle, so a lot of them suffer from unrequited love. Sometimes it will work out and sometimes it won't. I don't know about you but I hate books and movies when two people in love stay apart for the flimsiest of reasons. It seems like the waste of a rare gift. Caring about someone who also cares about you? There's a reason love is celebrated and that's because the odds are not that great.

 I was in love with a friend of mine for ages, and since it's just us here, I probably still am a little. He was the only person who treated me well during a dark time in my life and I idealized him. To him I was funny and beautiful and talented and smart when everyone else referred to me in the past tense. When I'd think it was hopeless and I should move on, he'd send a postcard or a letter. That alone kept me hooked. Who bothers to send letters any more? Three pages of jagged boy-handwriting and I'd ignore that the letters were always signed, "Your friend" at the end. I tried to get past, I even got engaged, but I knew deep down if he came back I'd leave. That never happened but neither did the wedding, and that was for the best. When this whole thing hit the decade mark, I made myself admit that no magic switch was going to be thrown and he'd show up at my door with an armful of flowers. He was just as remote a possibility as one of the characters I made from the qualities he had and those I projected upon him.

 All I have to show for those years are a box of correspondence I swear I'm going to shred one day, a half a dozen manuscripts and an uncomfortable attraction to Stephen Merchant. Hopefully, these stories won't be just therapy for my muddled mind and you all will find something to connect to and enjoy from them as well.